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Don't Be This Guy!

11/25/08

funny obese guy

This picture pretty much sums up how I felt after last Thanksgiving. Laughing on the outside but crying on the inside. I really overdid it with the food and I know I'm not alone. Which left me wondering, just why do we horrendously overeat on holidays like Thanksgiving, even those of us who are committed to our health for the rest of the year?

Anyone who has been reading anything about nutrition lately, knows that one should stick to protein and vegetables for the bulk of her diet, a little fruit and maybe a little non-gluten grain, some healthy fats and water to drink. This is what you "should" do this Thanksgiving. However, I'm not even going to try to tell you to stick to this plan. There actually is an easier way to circumvent the food (or alcohol) hangover many of us have on Black Friday.

I have a firm belief that no one overeats (or overdrinks) out of pure gluttony. More than likely its conformity, rebellion, fear, shame, anger, deflection or insecurity. Nothing brings out our deepest vulnerabilities more than being at the family round-up, where everything about your life is open territory for public commentary and you may be called to defend your value systems against starkly contrasting ones from family members who are as horrified at your values as you are at theirs.

Now I don't know about you, but my family is PERFECT! No one fights or disagrees and we all have exactly the same view of the world and right and wrong. . .Yeah and if you believe that I've got a bridge in Brooklyn that I'd like to sell you. OK my family is FAR from perfect. Psychologists agree that up to 85% of all families are dysfunctional so I know that many of you can relate. Dr. Mona Lisa Scultz, a Hay House author, actually says that there are now support groups for people from wonderful families because they are the vast minority and often carry a lot of guilt about their wonderful upbringing after sitting in seminars and hearing how much other people have "miserably suffered!"

But back to my family. . .as you all know I am a teacher and practitioner of organic lifestyle and holistic healing. My family doesn't care. At all. They give every excuse in the book about why they could never do what I do and how crazy I am, how expensive organic food is, how much they hate exercise, and lots of other clever rationalizations (As a side note, many of the NYC Farmer's Markets are now accepting Food Stamps. Hurray NYC City Council! For a list of participating greenmarkets go to www.cenyc.org. So if you are on welfare you can have a totally organic Thanksgiving. I'm jealous of you because I will most certainly be feasting on pesticides and antibiotics). So not only are my health values up for criticism, but so is my choice of romantic partner, my outfit, my hair color, whether or not I speak proper English, you get the picture. And food (or alcohol) is such a great deflection from criticism, isn't it? Well that's the way I handled it in the past. But I have certainly made some big changes lately as anyone who knows me well has seen.

This weekend I went to the "You Can Heal Your Life" conference, hosted by Louise Hay. I had the pleasure of hearing so many brilliant speakers, but two comments struck me rather powerfully. The first was by Louise Hay herself, an 82-year-old woman that radiates more energy and vitality than you see in most 32-years-olds. She said that there are two main components for healing your life: 1) choosing your thoughts and 2) choosing the food and drink that you consume. If you've been reading my newsletters, you probably know pretty well what to eat. If you don't please check out The Diet Solution by Isabel De Los Rios, one of the most comprehensive and easy to use organic nutrition manuals.

The choosing of our thoughts, however, can be just as powerful to our health and well-being as our choice in food. Some thoughts that I have already chosen for this Thanksgiving are, "I live in balance and harmony with everyone I know." "I love myself, therefore I give my body nourishing foods and beverages." "Every action I take comes from a place of joy." "I release the past and I am free to love fully in the present." If love and joy are what you are committed to feeling everyday, it is impossible to abuse your body in any way. Which means if you choose to eat protein and vegetables as your commitment to joy, that's great. And if you choose to eat pumpkin pie and chocolate chip cookies as your commitment to joy, that's great too. But remember, joy always feels good. There is no guilt in joy. It is far worse to eat cookies and beat yourself up about it, than to just eat the cookies with joy and move on with your life. My rule of thumb this Thanksgiving is if you are choosing to eat something out of pure joy, go for it!

The second powerful comment from the conference was by Cheryl Richardson who said, "In order to live a soul-directed life you must practice pissing people off and disappointing them. Get good at it. When you act from the level of the soul you will not care if people hate you." Let's be real, there are many people right now who love you, but guess what: there is someone in the world right now that hates you, there is someone that thinks you are crazy, there is someone that will criticize you no matter what you do and you will probably see that someone on Thursday! So what! The vulnerabilities that are exposed when we are surrounded by family that cause us to overconsume are usually rooted in this very issue; our desire to please everyone, to be the "good boy/girl," and to have people like us. Or it could be the opposite polarity, to rebel and make yourself known by doing everything the opposite of what everyone would like. Either way your actions are not coming from a place of freedom. Let it go. It is impossible to honor yourself at the level of the soul and please everyone. People will challenge your values from time to time and guess what, that's great! What a valuable opportunity to either decide and express exactly Who You Are, or to choose to remain quiet and sit back and blend in. As long as your decision comes from a peaceful place, you will never feel the need to overconsume unhealthfully again.

Louise Hay gave four steps to getting what you really want out of life that I'd like to repeat here because they are relevant to the spirit of Thanksgiving. The four steps are:

  • 1. Give. What you give you get back. The first step in giving is forgiving.
  • 2. Love yourself. Life loves you.
  • 3. Gratitude. Thanksgiving is the time to really think about every beautiful thing you have to be grateful for. The Universe loves grateful people.
  • 4. Appreciation of the other people in your life, your relationship with them helps you know who you are. Tell 3 people everyday how much you appreciate them.

Louise contends that you will immediately start looking younger after taking these 4 steps, and she's the hottest 82 year old I have EVER seen. Seriously.

Enjoy your holiday. Focus on the blessings. Eat with joy and awareness. There's going to be some sick sales this Black Friday and the early bird gets the worm!